10 Dating Tips for Widows Over 50

Sabra Robinson
Apr 26, 2017
3 min read

My dear fifty + and fab widow,

You’ve grieved long enough and cried enough tears to age yourself twenty years. You may be in your tenth year of widowhood or second year, yet you feel you're ready. You miss him dearly but you desire a husband, a mate, you're Chapter 2.

It's been too long without a date and you're over 50. It's been too long without a date and you'r 50 plus. You want the hand-holding, movie outing, and bear hugging-type dates.You're an empty-nester and the house is just too big (or too small) for just one person.

You're feeling lonely.

You've tried blind dates, online dating, speed dating and even church. And nothing.

You're feeling sexy.

You've tried yoga, Plant Fitness, Home Owners Association meetings and you've even stooped so far as to rejoining bereavement groups, just for the possibility of bumping into a widower. And nothing.

You're now angry.

As a widow of five years, I feel I can share a thing or two about dating so I've developed ten tips for widows over 50 to help you along the journey of dating.

Tip 1: Be prepared to cry Be prepared for a broken heart. The relationship may be great in the beginning but he may find that he can't cope with your husband's memories.

Tip 2: Try dating a widower first, if possible. Widowers may 'get it' long before a non-widower does.

Tip 3: Don't be afraid to step outside of the box. Do something different than the norm. You're grown and over fifty...find a dog sitter, tell your 'still-living-at-home' adult over 40-aged children to get to stepping and find another place to mooch off of for the evening.

Tip 4: Don't settle. If you settle, you will regret it. Instead of allowing yourself to settle, allow yourself to grow in learning new things. Don't settle for a man who doesn't do anything for your mind or spirit. Being able to identify with someone through an intelligent, funny, and adult conversation is the sexiest thing close to sex itself.

Tip 5: Date a younger guy. If a younger guy hits on you, so what! If he's old enough to purchase wine, he's an adult. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the company of a youthful man. He could teach you a thing or two about the latest urban slang, the coolest emojis and the newest Social Media app. And you may even be encouraged enough to change your wardrobe to something a bit more younger, not slutty, but try adding new accessories or even wearing dresses instead of jeans, yoga pants or slacks when meeting for a date. Try changing up your appearance and your makeup and try looking at life from a Millennial or Generation Xer's point of view (not necessarily changing yours but be an ear to theirs). Tip 5.1: review your high school or college pictures to remind you of your youthfulness.

Tip 6: Don't talk about your former husband on the first date. Don't be surprised if he suddenly falls ill even if you're dating a widower. Check your emotions at the door. Even for a widower, he may not want to be reminded of his wife on the first date. It may sound harsh, but it's a reality.

Tip 7: Don't be afraid to date someone shorter. Your blessing can come in all shapes and sizes. It took me a year to date someone shorter. He was very mature for his age and a great singer, too!

Tip 8: If he's younger, don't show him your AARP card (or let him know you have one)! This was just too funny so I had to add it as a tip!

Tip 9: Get some exercise or get busy! If every time he asks you what you are doing and you are sitting on the sofa watching television, he may think he's dating and old lady. Get active for heaven's sake! However, if he does the same thing, then more power to you both! You're a match!

Tip 10: Pray. Ladies, be specific in your prayers. If you want a man, God will send you a man...maybe a man without a job, crooked teeth, a wanna-be comedian or even a man with absolutely no class at all. You must be specific with what you want!

Bonus Tip: Ask him this question: "If I were on my deathbed, would you still be able to pray for me?"

Are you ready for your match?

Now have fun!